Oh, yeah. It’s happening.
I’ve been getting asked, “how much weight have you gained so far in pregnancy?”
First of all, this is an interesting question to ask someone, isn’t it? 😉
(In full disclosure, I sometimes ask women this question if I’m working with them postpartum because it could give me more information about their pelvic floor and thyroid health. But, that’s really all I care about.)
So, here’s my situation: I have NO idea how much weight I’ve gained. None.
I couldn’t even guess because I don’t know my current weight and I don’t know how many pounds I was when I became pregnant.
My answer to the question about how much I’ve gained has been and will continue to be:
“Somewhere around the right amount”
*Cue polite smile*
(Me and #bmg at 25 weeks pregnant. Way more concerned about how my glutes and pelvis are functioning vs. how many pounds this body does or does not weigh.)
The question itself doesn’t bother me. I can understand the interest in it, simply because it’s something that people in our world talk at length about. The pregnancy weight, the losing of the baby weight, blah blah blah.
WHO ELSE IS GETTING SERIOUSLY BORED OF THESE CONVERSATIONS?! Oy.
But, I’ve gotta say, while I can (intellectually) understand the interest in knowing, I don’t get it.
Who actually cares? How does the number of pounds I’ve gained or not gained affect someone else?
If I know how much weight YOU’VE gained in pregnancy, how would that affect me?
…Is this just something we’ve been conditioned to ask each other?
All I can think is that even in these remarkably beautiful experiences of growing babies in our bodies, is that we’ve been taught to keep comparing our bodies to others.
(Again, 25 weeks pregnant. Baby is flipping and turning and shifting like crazy! These times are sacred to me. Not knowing my weight is likely increasing the likelihood of me enjoying this experience.)
Not too much. But, not too little, either. You have to be juuuust right.
Are we going to turn pregnancy into a case of ‘who can grow the better pregnant body?’. Ugh. No.
I’ve worked with so many women who are stressed about the amount of weight they are gaining or will potentially gain in pregnancy. They are scared, fearful, of gaining weight.
I’ve worked with many women whose health care professionals track their weight very closely throughout the entire pregnancies, which from my experiences with these women, has only added additional stress to their pregnancy.
I’ve seen the “preg-orexia” conversations. I’ve seen the “overweight” pregnancy conversations.
What I want to see more of is trusting our bodies to do what they are going to do in pregnancy. To trust that our bodies will do what they need to do in pregnancy.
Can we direct our focus to healthy habits? To eating moderately most of the time? To moving our bodies in ways that we like? Will that be enough?
Yes – there are “healthy” weight ranges to be gained in pregnancy. BUT, women carry weight and babies extremely differently. Such intense focus on a # of pounds doesn’t seem like the answer, to me.
So, the next time you’re asked about your pregnancy weight gain, I’d invite you to answer with the RIGHT answer, which is:
“The right amount”.
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