This month marks 3 years since I chose to have an amniocentesis.
An amniocentesis is a procedure in pregnancy where a (LONG) needle is inserted through the belly, into the uterus to remove amniotic fluid for testing.
We had received slightly concerning blood work and ultrasound results on baby’s health.
The top two options presented were: more specific blood work, or an amniocentesis.
The amnio was likely to provide the most accurate results, but with it comes risks to the fetus and pregnant person.
I was incredibly privileged to even be able to have the option to make that choice.
No additional financial costs to choose the amnio. Trust that I would receive adequate care from all medical providers because of my white skin, body size, and abilities.
Ability to easily access the location of the appointment. No stress of scheduling time off work with an employer.
I went back and forth, up, down, and over again on whether to choose the amnio. And, ultimately, I booked the appointment in January 2017.
What I really chose in that time was myself. I chose my own mental and emotional health.
I had found myself in an unplanned pregnancy, that I felt ambivalent about. More specifically, that I felt terrified over.
Much of what I read during that time focused on the invasive risks of the amnio. People told me the blood work was the safer option.
“Just do the blood work. Why would you even take the chance that xyz terrible things could happen in the amnio?!?”
But, I knew in my soul that *I* needed to be ok.
In that moment, I needed as much certainty as possible to move forward.
Thankfully, the results all came back “normal”. The person on the other end of the phone call told me the baby was well.
I ended the call and sobbed with relief. It was the first moment in 3 months that I felt any sense of hope.
My deepest hope for you is that you have the agency to make choices for yourself and your body in pregnancy and postpartum.
Choices that help you feel in your power.
Ps. Without a doubt, it was our To Pregnancy and Beyond members who helped carry me through that time.
The space they held for my overwhelm, my fears, and my need to talk through it over and over – priceless.
If you’re feeling isolated and alone in your prenatal or postnatal experience, our progressive fitness program offers a space for deep connection and true friendship.