I was so terrified about being in this last pregnancy and coming out of it because I didn’t think postpartum could be ok. Like, not in ANY WAY possible could it be anything close to ok.

My memories of early postpartum with our first baby include crying all day, a painful unexpected surgery recovery, PTSD symptoms post-birth, etc.

It’s all I could imagine for this time because it’s all I had experienced.

Interestingly, the first time, we had a very easy baby and I felt confident in caring for her the whole time. She was the simple part of it all. My own stuff was the hard part.

This time, our baby is trickier part. 😉 My stuff is the easy part.

Postpartum has been so wildly different this time. I’m only 3.5 weeks in, but these weeks have felt nothing like they did before.

Postpartum is still a grind.

I’m exhausted. Sleeping in one hour increments throughout the night, most nights. Parenting a 3-year old who is having a challenging transition to mom being needed elsewhere.

I’ve had weird, painful abdominal and chest issues that no one can figure out. This baby is grunty, loud, hates sleeping at night, reflux-y, gassy. All the things.

But, I at least feel at peace.

Probably in part because I know I’ll never be pregnant again. Ha. Really though, my attention can go to my own basic self-care and the more intense care of the baby. I don’t feel like I want to escape my feelings to be ok.

I was telling a friend the other day that I wouldn’t have been so scared during this pregnancy thinking about postpartum if I had’ve had THIS experience the first time.

I share this because I hope it might take the edge off for anyone else who may have had a traumatic birth or extremely difficult postpartum period. Perhaps there can be some hope in my experience for you.

All that said, for the love of all things good, can we get to the part where I sleep again? LOL.

For a sample of the strength training workouts I’ve been doing in this pregnancy, can click the button below to be sent 2, FREE full-body sessions.