“Are you getting excited?!” My honest answer.
“Are you getting excited?!”
This is a common question from people, mostly strangers, lately when they see my pregnant body.
My assumption is that they’re looking for a particular answer. That answer being an enthusiastic YES!
That’s not how I’ve answered.
Truthfully, there are a lot of words I choose to describe my feelings about the impending arrival of Baby Mundell George 2, before I use excited.
Anxious. Nervous. Distracted. Scared. Hopeful. And, yes, further down the line, there’s some excitement.
Excitement came easy last time. First baby. Was feeling ready for a big life shift. We got it. I felt ready to surrender into that.
Ps. If you haven’t listened to last week’s To Birth and Beyond podcast episode, my husband and I sat down to talk about all the things we’re feeling as we get closer to Baby #2. Our fears, most definitely included.
This time…this time, there is a lot more below the surface that impacts the emotions felt.
Am I excited to meet this baby and see who they become and what they are? Yes. Am I grateful my body did this for us a second time? Absolutely. Do I feel at peace that this little person completes our family unit? Hell yes.
Am I dreading sleep deprivation, exhaustion, the intensity of postpartum emotions and recovery? Yes.
Am I sad for the shift in relationship that will occur with my current baby? Very.
Am I worried about the relentlessness that parenting two small children will be? A lot a lot.
There’s room for all these things. Yes, it’s uncomfortable for me. Yes, it’s uncomfortable for strangers to hear that I’m more nervous than excited.
Guess what? Pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting can be fucking uncomfortable. And a lot of other things, too.
There is room for the feelings to be had. Do I wish it was lighter at times? You bet. Can I see the value in being honest in the struggle? I can.
From the beginning of my last pregnancy, and all through this one, I’ve always said that I don’t need people to tell me it’s going to be fine. That it’s going to be easy.
What helps me feel more supported is the shared, true, real life emotions from others. Is having a baby exciting? It can be. Is having a baby an intensely challenging time? It can be.
I want to talk about all of the aspects because WHY NOT? What is the other option, other than honesty?
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