Do moms get to live a life they love?
Do you enjoy your life?
I know. The answer to that question might seem obvious. Or, it might seem awkward and confronting AF, which is exactly why we’re going to talk about it.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
A few months ago, I was doing a live video series on my Facebook page for fitness and health professionals who work with moms. In one video, I was talking about how to take the focus off fat loss in fitness training, so we can ensure our mama clients have more options for their bodies other than only to make them smaller.
At one point I said, “let’s get our clients to enjoy their lives more.”
This is my focus when I’m coaching and, especially so, since entering motherhood myself.
Is there anything I can do to help you enjoy the day-to-day more? Your babies more? Your body more? Your relationships more?
LET’S DO MORE OF THAT STUFF.
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So, what about when you don’t feel like you’re enjoying your life? What about when life feels like survival mode. Please tell me you know this feeling, too?
It seems that mamas have this resilience button that gets switched on once you become pregnant and then kicks into turbo mode once baby is born.
What about when survival mode feels like a loooot of days? Like, all the days for weeks or months at a time? Are moms just destined to constantly feel like they’re in survival mode?
I refuse to believe that being mom inherently means this, but I can fully appreciate how this can become our reality in a flash, without even noticing when or how it happened.
You might be nodding your head like, “Yep. Uh huh. I get you.”
We all can relate to this on some level. If you’ve been through postpartum, you have likely felt all of these things extremely clearly.
Pregnancy and mom-ing are no joke. It is constantly shaping you into the next level of YOU. This is one of the things that has challenged me the most and is also the part I love so hard about it.
One of my main intentions over the last 2.5 years of being pregnant and entering motherhood has been to consciously create a life where I have more days where I feel like I’m thriving vs. surviving.
Let me be clear that not everyday is thrive-y. There are definitely days (and nights) that are downright survive-y.
But, there is consistent attention to my own physical, mental, and emotional health. Even and especially when I don’t want to. There have been many days when I don’t want to. And, some days when I simply don’t.
We’re are often fed this message that mom-ing needs to feel extremely hard all the time, but we should be making it look easy. That we should be running from activity to activity, without pause, for the sake of the kids. And, that ‘good’ moms should put our kids’ and partners’ needs before our own.
Oh, and we definitely shouldn’t be taking much time away from the family to do things purely for our own pleasure. But, wait, we’re moms now…is it even ok to be interested in pleasure at all?
Are we not mom-ing hard enough if we actually like our lives? If we aren’t giving our kids our entire energy and focus?
The reality is that mom-ing IS very hard and intense work. In many ways.
It’s demands so much of you. There are many moments when I’m like, “CAN I JUST NOT RIGHT NOW?”
Here’s the thing though: I refuse to NOT put attention into enjoying my life right now. I’m not going to wait until my kid is in school full-time to start cultivating a life I love.
By the way, in my experience, there can be way more YAY in your life when cupcakes are involved. 😉
Here’s what I want us to question:
• Does it have to feel constantly hard? Do we make it feel unnecessarily hard? Do we take pride in it feeling hard?
• What if we ‘allowed’ it to feel easier? How can we allow it to feel easier?
• Do we believe that our lives as moms can feel fun/enjoyable/with ease at times?
• Do we give ourselves permission to enjoy our lives as moms? To enjoy slowness with our kid(s)?
• If you’re parenting with a partner, do you think your partner enjoys their life more than you? If yes, why?
My main point in this is that we might focus on uncovering some layers of our lives if we want to figure out how we can live a life we love. As moms.
Becoming a mom shouldn’t mean that we automatically becomes martyrs, feel unsupported and overwhelmed, and like we have to be taking care of everyone over ourselves for the next twenty years.
This is about questioning WHY we feel like we do, getting curious on the messaging we’re being fed, and getting some fast wins in to feel better to snowball that momentum.
CANNOT WAIT to feel more thrive-y with you.
Ps. A reminder to grab your copy of the Bands and Bells Workout Program for Pregnancy and Postpartum.
It’s free, the setup is simple, and will leave you feeling stronger and more capable in your body.